Time & Tide

I'm waking up to see that everything is ok.
The first time that I feel my life is so great.
With you here I don't have to be afraid.
Walking underneath the stars we can see the way.

How could you turn around without saying anything?
How dare I leave you alone, while I'm stuck in my memories.
In the eyes of mine your eyes are trembling in tears.
Without you by my side I can't help getting into too deep.

To being around - I've ever reminisced.
While I stay up, can you get to sleep?
Inside of you are my secrets that I would keep.
Do you need me? I need to hear you speak.

Soon comes another year's May.
You're the only one to whom I would hail.
Hey!
I'm really ready and OK!

Having been here so long, suddenly I realise I should go back home now.
My house is not the most beautiful one, my parents are not the richest in the world, but I love the feeling being here.

Who do I really care? I know the answer.
Who can I turn to, when I encounter some trouble? Firsly, it's my parents.

I don't want to be left alone here or there.
Can you hear my call?
I wish I knew you before I fell in love with you.

Until the day we soar unabandonly like birds, I'm blind.
Should we belong together against all odds?
I'm sure, what we both choose is perfectly right.

Until this very moment have I realised what a fool I was in love.

Every time when God laid a burden on my narrow shoulder, I did try hard to shake it off, no matter how many tears I swallowed in my stomach.
Camby's stories evoked me, especially the potential of fighting against unfairness inside, that I have to do something to display the innermost strong me to this lonely planet.

However, when I pretended to be stronger, the other me inside say some words from the bottom of my fragile heart. "Cool down, man! You're never standing alone!"

Then who do you refer to? Esther? I hope so. But it's the warning standing in front of me stops me again & again from calling her.

I'm sure I'm one of the ones who knows her cellphone number. But I swear to the God and Goddess above that I didn't tell nobody about your number. If there's someone calling you using my phone, it must be a drama in the daylight. Maybe you could call it daydream.

Each time when I‘m dreaming of you in my dreams, I find myself helpless and secretless to you. However, you just raise your face up and smile at me with your labelled facial expression. I can see the leaves falling, but your face is always on my heart.

I didn't know the exact time, because my parents adjusted the clocks and watches in order to make me calm down and get to sleep on time. If I knew it was too late to call, I won't do it no more! Forgive me, Esther.

Sometimes I'm out of control. I know you know it well.
I hope I could be a unforgettable sinner, no, a singer for you and your rest of life, our life...

Twists of fate.

From this moment on I realised what kind of mental track I've been through. Affection is never guilty, I know. Looking back at all these years, especially the odd feeling to them inside, I will never regard it as evil. But now it's time to put an end to it - Say goodbye to the green days which is quite precious to every one of us. Once you loved, cared about someone, even though she did know nothing about it, you would learn a lot of things from the experience. Be realistic! It's better to keep those dreams as what they were. There're many things ahead, so don't hesitate to get rid of the gloomy past. Just as I'm very clear that I will never be a superstar with angelic voice.

Sometimes dreams keep us going on. Thanks to you, my friend! In my most hard and lonely time you're always there like a lantern. Though it's not bright enough to light up my way, I felt warm. Your every word and smile spinned around and around in my head, and helped me overcome the nightmares. Maybe there won't be any chance to say I love you, however, I just want you to know - you were once the most important person in my life. I'll never forget you!

I'm on my way.

Suddenly I felt angry and eager to resist everything at the moment. Then I got calm.

I don't know why I behaved like that. A blood rush to the head? Or something else?
It's bad, I know.

You may call it immaturity, or mentally unhealthy state. I think that's reasonable, to some extent. It's a quality of grown-ups to well control your emotion, which I'm still learning. Nobody can be happy all the time, but how to get rid of the bad mood may take a person a quite long time to learn.

Having practises swimming for days, I'm getting more healthy. The exercise must go on until the weight goes down to an acceptable quantity.

Just recalled a phrase "Twists and Turns". Sure, that's absolutely not my situation.

There's someone I've known for years, but I didn't realise she's occupied the innermost part of my heart until she appeared again and again in my life and dreams these days. The feeling that I cannot live without her is starting to pour. But we can't be together.

It is not because we don't like each other, but time - the magician -  separated us with a blink of eye. She's there, while I'm here. We belong to our own world.

I tried not to evoke the emotions by being apart from her or just cancelling the regular meeting with her. But those days are just like years. So far we still remain friends, not soulmates.

She's not beautiful, but a kind and optimistic person, which attracts me most. I guess she did know nothing about what I'm thinking of.  Will she? It's hard to predict.

Last time she wrote to me. She says: "We'll do what we can for each other, won't we?" Yes, what we can is all we can. I didn't even touch her hand.

Maybe I'm in too deep, however, I just can't get her out of my mind. So just let my mind fly up high, to the Northern Star, to ask it to light my path which leads me to her side.